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Tuesday 200 - #23

Buying my nieces’ Christmas presents is never easy. Just how many Barbies can two girls have?

I thought that combining history with playtime might be clever, and suggested Medieval Barbie to my sister. She said it was a no go because Cindy got one last year. Plus, the bubonic rats that came along with it gave little Shelly nightmares.

“Cindy’s really hoping for Terrorist Barbie,” my sister told me. “They’re all the rage with the kids in her school. Frankly, I think they’ll grow bored pretty quickly. The outfits are crap. I mean how many ways can you wrap a boring black handkerchief around a doll?”

Apparently, the kids aren’t daunted by sartorial singularity. The hook is that one in twenty of the dolls comes with its own suicide bomb. From the outside, they all look alike so nobody knows until it’s unwrapped. “Martyr Barbie is this year’s Tickle Me Elmo,” she told me.

“What happens if they blow up?” I asked.

Seems the bombs really aren’t that strong, so the dolls just become a little disfigured. They’re then moved from Barbie’s Dream Sleeper Cell to Barbie’s Dream Medieval Castle. Just plop on some pustules, and voila, more plague victims.

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Last week's Tuesday 200.