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No, There Is Not a WKRP

Only two more sleeps and our hero climbs into the giant metal dragon and flies back to the mystical kingdom that's round on the ends and tall in the middle.

I'm strangely excited to return to the land where I was both born and bored. That's bored as in filled with repetitious ennui, not bored as in repetitiously filled with Henrķ ... although there was that swarthy French waiter back in '89. No, wait, that was Jean Luc ... an entirely different coffee commercial story.

And oh, what acorns of fun I'll soon be sampling from the giant tree of Buckeyedom ...

* Skyline. Two cheese coneys with onions and a 5-way, please.

* People saying "please" when they want you to repeat something.

* My introduction to Wii. I will rock at bowling, and will do my best to not appear humiliated when the 8-year old beats me.

* Homemade goetta. Lots of it. Fried (maybe in bacon grease) nice and crisp and then salted to perfection.

* A chanteuse clown and her performing pooches. I defecate you not.

* A potential sneak preview of the mid-Ohio Bat Boy premiere.

* A ridiculous night of poker with my cousins. Grandma is not allowed to play. I don't care if it is her 90th birthday. She cheats.

* A get-me-out-of-here flight to New York one week from today.

I'm looking forward to 7 of the 8. Actually, I'm looking forward to it all. It will be fun to see if the Bonzer thing can be as cheesy as I've imagined. Just in case, I've been assured there will be plenty of vodka and tequila at the party's (cash) bar.

Maybe I'll even have a Little Kings.