Mommy Mommy, I Don't Want to Eat an Elephant

Shut up and keep doing your work.

I came into the office today to get a jump start on next week, as well as to catch up on some projects. Plus, my cable modem busted yesterday, and I didn't feel like dealing with dial-up. I'd probably get more work done if there wasn't this daggone Internet distraction.

I've plodded through a good number of the tasks at hand: expense reports, sending out meeting requests, delegating a few things, filing a half-ton of paper, going through stacks of "unprocessed" papers/mail/etc. and tending to some thousand (I'm not exaggerating) or so undealt with and/or previously ignored messages in my Outlook inbox.

Too. Much. Clutter. And most of it ended up in the Trash (except for the bonus of coming across a hastily scribbled email address for my best friend from high school ... hi Mike).

Stop me if I've said this already, but I've really been having a hard time staying focused lately. And I can't believe how much stupid paper there is in my office. Piles of crap everywhere, pulling focus worse than a nubile chorus boy with a stuffed dance belt.

I blame it on some odd combination of my self-diagnosed ADD, business trip-itis (symptoms include too much crap in one's office) and the fact that there's just a J.Lo-sized buttload of work to do -- I can't decide what thing to dive into next. I know, to eat an elephant I need to cut it up into edible chunks. But who wants to eat elephant in the first place?

The kids at QuitNet say it's the fact that I've stopped smoking (17 days, thank you very much). I think it's early onset Alzheimer’s.

Okay then, enough of all this time wasting and whining. Back to the piles of elephant shit on my desk.

But first, a new diversion, hearkening back to days gone by when life was easier and there was no such thing as project management ...

What's your favorite "Mommy Mommy" joke?