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Adios to Juan Valdez?

Went to the trained professional today and told him of my woes (lack of focus, being bored yet agitated, tired but not really sleepy, easily aggravated, a little anxious about stupid shit, etc.) Also said I wasn't looking to go back into deep analytical therapy, I just wanted to get my groove back on so I could sit down and do the things I know I should be doing.

Told him I wasnt just ready to jump back onto the anti-depressant train, although it was an option that I wan't diametrically opposed to.

So Bob, tell me about your sleep habits.

That's easy ... I don't feel like going to sleep and night and hate getting up in the morning. I go to bed, toss and turn, get up and read, write, obsess about ponder all the things I should be doing, surf the net and/or watch tv and then fall asleep on the sofa. Wake up a few hours later, sometimes go to bed, sometimes turn off the tube and go back to sleep on the couch. Wake up too early, go back to sleep again and then don't ever want to get up.

What wakes you up?

Dunno, just wake up.

How much caffeine do you drink?

A few cups of coffee in the morning, a cup or two of coffee/tea in the afternoon (or Diet Cokes, I love me my Diet Coke) and usually a Diet Coke or two at home in the evening.

Are you kidding?

Um, no.

I'm going to offer some suggestions that you may not like. You say you want to feel better and stay off the medication for now ...

He seems to think I might get into a more regular sleep pattern, and in turn increase my energy/focus/happiness, if I cut out the caffeine. Years ago, he would have handed me a script for some Klonopin or Ritalin and talked about putting me back on something Zoloft-y. But instead, we're going to do a little experiment in decaffeination. Why did I tell him I wasnt ready to take happy pills?

I live for Diet Coke. I love a good cup of coffee ... more than I ever loved cigarettes. My gut says Id rather be medicated and caffeinated, but Im always up for an experiment. Well just see.

No smokes. No cokes. Thank Whitney there's still crack.