« Holy Spam, Batman | Main | Mmm, Mmm Good »

Everything Must Change

Had a few server-related technical glitches to work out over the past few days, but between the good folks at Movable Type, the nice users lurking about MT and Dreamhost support forums and some trial and error on my part, seems like I'm back up and running. Is dataglob really a technical term? Shouldn't they tell you when they change your server?

But life does go on, even when you can't blog about it. Odd that.

Work was every bit as crappy as I'd anticipated (Alex, I'll take self-fulfilling prophecies for $300), but I seem to have lived through the ordeal.

Had a very relaxing massage Thursday night. Towards the end, I reached a minor epiphany (no, it wasn't that kind of massage nor was that a euphemism). I was really happy and content there for awhile ... beginning about 18 months ago. So happy in fact that I'd "graduated" therapy. So what was so different then vs. now?

Well, I had learned to let go of a lot and, for all intents and purposes had stopped worrying too much about a lot of the things that weren't directly in my control. I'm holding on to a lot again. And taking things way too seriously. Time to relearn how to let go.

The way things are looking, I don't think I'll be getting that new job I wanted. Which means at least 2-3 more months of a hurry-up-and-wait limbo. I think it might be time to start scouting for new trapezes. I really feel like I'm too old for this ... which I know isn't true, but I just so don't want to deal with it all. And I also don't want to keep doing what I'm doing.

Made an appointment with a "trained professional" I used to see. I think I've got a good set of "tools" from years on the couch and I really don't want to go back into therapy, but every online assessment I take (and I'm taking way too many of late) says I could be heading back to a place where a course of happy pills might do me some good. And I know that's a good load of pharmaceutical advertising, but I also know that I've been thinking about this for a couple months now and it's time to take some action.

I really felt a sense of relief just by making the call. This guy's more about psychopharmacology than dredging up and reliving old pain (which is what the last doctor was all about). Don't know that I'll fill any prescriptions just yet, but I feel better knowing that there's an option down the road.

In any case, I know it's just a passing shadow, much like tonight's eclipse.

On lighter notes, we saw Die Mommy Die! last night, which was a light-hearted dose of bad (in a good way), predictable camp. I think I like Charles better on stage, but it was a fun romp. Even more fun was running into Glenn and meeting his cute blog daddy. Also lined up tickets for Wicked for next week and I guess we'll do our part to get into the trainwreck before too long. Tried to get it at TKTS this afternoon, but it wasn't up.

Ended up taking a big walking tour from the South Street Seaport up to Soho. Y'all, if you haven't noticed, the city is packed with people, and they're already stopping in packs of 4 in the middle of the sidewalk to discuss how lost they are. It's going to be a really crowded, tedious Christmas season. And it's too cold already.

Maybe I do need those happy pills.

In the meantime, let's go watch the shadow pass over the moon. I want to see it turn all kinds of colors. And here I sit, without any microdot.