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On my commute home yesterday this rather sweet kid I work with embarked on one of his "I have a story about that" jags. He droned on and on about some friend of his sister's who he saw last Christmas and who looked exactly the same after ten years of not seeing her. Fascinating.

Mind you, four of us car pool in a Volkswagon Golf (a story in itself) and even someone breathing loudly after dozing off is enough to hold someone's attention until they're stopped. Did you know raisinettes fit nicely in most people's nostrils?

Anyhow, I tuned in and out of his rambling between looking for cute guys in other cars and was shocked into full attention when he revealed that this sister's friend lady has the most beautiful feet he's ever seen. His tone was oddly passionate and underscored with a scary sexuality I've never heard from him before: "The transition from her ankle to her foot is so beautifully proportioned and her arches are so pure..."


You must know that the mix in the car is half gay half straight and conversations, while often racy, NEVER digress into the personal realm. We fidgeted, opened windows, changed radio stations and finally diverted the conversation with a simple: "Who wants gum?!?!".

His confession did get me thinking though. I've always wondered what it is about feet that are so enticing for some people.

Me? I prefer to think of them as useful appliances that are meant to be covered and not particularly noticed unless they're snazzed up with a new pair of 14th street go-go boots.

For others though they present yet another category of sexual preference like leg man, boobie lover or abs afficionado. It's the foot folks' world I wouldn't mind stepping into for a moment to see what all the foot fuss is about (a fully intentional pun, by the way... how pedestrian of me).

I'm aware that there's a monthly meeting of the gay "Foot Friends" at a bar called the Eagle and can only wonder if the usual subculture hiearchy holds as true for this gang as it does for we more conventional gays.

For example, is the type of shoe worn indicative of one's socioeconomic class? Do lace colors and what side their worn on indicate the type of sexual activity one is interested in? Do the go-go boys dress opposite of the usual dancer set; clothes on, shoes off? If a patron is barefoot does that mean they're easy? Is the back room simply a dimly lit pedicure salon? Does size matter?

All pertinent questions, I think.

My goal in 2004 is to be more adventurous. That being said I am hereby promising myself that I will attend the next meeting of the gay Foot Friends and find out just what they're up to.

I figure if I employ my usual methods of attracting guys I should be in pretty good hands and perhaps take one step closer towards meeting Mr. Right ...and left, in this case.

I'll get my pump on at the gym, trim the beard, down a loosen-me-up cocktail and head over to the Eagle in my newest 14th St. foot fashions... a brand new pair of Partyland clown shoes.