« On the Pull | Main | Stockwell Shooting »

Tools for the Tools

Dear Ye Olde Bathroom Sharer,

While Iím certain that your mother does not frequent the toilet you use at work, I canít help but believe she would be horrified at your behaviour.

To wit:

kleenex.jpg
1. It seems that some of you have a hay fever problem, or perhaps some other sinus-related malady. It also seems that some of you donít know what to do with your non-member holding hand, while standing at the urinal. I might suggest, dear YOBS, that picking your nose is not the preferred action in this circumstance. One hand holding your cock, one hand up your nostril Ö itís just not pretty.

If you must pull out the dried remnants of a cold / cocaine binge Ö then at least flick it in the urinal (I know, some of you already do) and donít wipe it on the wall. There is plenty of tissue and paper towels (usually) in the gents, so you could in fact blow your nose before/after the slash and then wash your hands.


brush.jpg 2. Hereís another topic not to be sneezed at ó explosive diarrhea. Look, I know, shit happens. But that doesnít mean you need to leave the unfortunate remnants of your nights out with Stella and a curry-in-a-hurry in the bowl for subsequent YOBS.

Iím willing to wager you all take a quick look to see if the bowl is clean when you come into the stall. Is it so hard to repeat the process after youíve flushed (most) of your business down the drain? If you see something there's a more than you'd like to start with, then I suggest a simple tool. Itís called a toilet brush. It works fairly well Ö especially when the mess is, um, fresh.

Itís just a little courtesy, YOBS. Iím certain you donít act like this at home. And if you do, then I suggest:

a) itís no wonder you canít get laid
b) youíre mother/wife/partner is a saint
c) you need to pay your housecleaner a lot more

Please donít make me call your mother.

Kind regards,

b