G.I. Woe

So I’m looking at the new 6-pack of toilet paper that’s siiting amdist some groceries Larry brought home last night.

“Thirst Pockets”, in big yellow letters, is splayed across the clear plastic packaging, with “shhhhhlurp technology” written underneath. I’m not making this up.

“That’s a disturbing selling proposition for toilet paper,” I think to myself. And what’s that animal under the logo? A baby elephant?!? Geez, what kind of gastro-intestinal woes could you have that calls for Dumbo to hose you down and “thirst pockets” to shlurp yourself clean? That must have been one nasty curry.

I pick up the package to take it to the bathroom, making a mental note to use the guest bath for the next few days.

Oh. It’s a 3-pack of paper towels.

I feel much better about the world now.