Tuesday 200 - #15

Mom: William, for the last time, get outside and cut the grass.

William: Soon as the movie’s over.

Mom: I can’t understand why you sit in front of that TV instead of getting some fresh morning air. There are plenty of neighbor boys to play with.

William: None that want to play with me. Besides, it’s a classic. I like to think of it as a documentary.

Mom: What’s it called?

William: Mildred Pierce.

Mom: Stupid old movies. I swear I should get your eyes tested again. Can you even see color?

William: Red. All the time.

Mom: The grass. Now.

William: Can’t Richie do it? He’d love it. He’s said so a million times.

Mom: You know very well your brother can’t mow the lawn. What would the neighbors say?

William: That occupational therapy was paying off?

Mom: Hush. I can just hear ‘em, “A power mower is not a toy for a half-blind, retarded midget.”

William: Richie’s not a midget. Just got that one leg shorter than the other. And there’s a push mower in the garage.

Mom: WILLIAM! GRASS! NOW!

William: Yes, Mildred.

Mom: That is not my name. And grab me a beer before you go.

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