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Lights! Candles! Assam!

Monday, as you may recall, is Shadia day. You remember, the nice lady who tidies up the place and tells me I'm fat.

I needed to run some errands this morning, and get a smart new Crimbo coif. Upon returning, she said she was making me tea if I wanted tea.

"No thanks, I'm fine," I said. I'd grabbed a latte in between the barber and the cat food run.

"What? You won't let me make you some tea?" she asked.

Well, um, okay. One sugar, no milk.

"Is this all the decorating you're going to do?" she asked, sniffing at my dwarf of a tree.

"You don't like my tree?"

"Yes darling it's okay, but it needs more decoration. And put out some candles. And more lights. You want to feel like Christmas."

So now there are colored fairy lights draped over the mantle and the silver bar-table in the kitchen.

She's convinced it looks more festive. I think it looks like an Indian restaurant on Manhattan's 6th Street.

But the tea is delicious.