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Tuesday 200 - #25

Resolutions from Ye Olde Tralier Parque


Shag more married men, especially if they have kids, but no daughters who wear my size.

Write first draft of "Better Living through Stalking: How Alex Forester Changed My Life"

Get Kate Moss thin. Blow the coke dealer and go back on the smokes.

Save money on hair care: give up the colorist and start using the 3-for-2 dye-at-home boxes (but always do it at the gym ... makes too much of a mess at home)

Use saved cash to play more bingo and buy more scratch cards.

Pick up a few extra quid in Ipswitch. Lightening never strikes twice.

See if that queer South American guy at the florists was serious about marrying me for money.

Go off my narcolepsy and bipolar meds and audition for Big Brother.

Send more boudoir shots to the guys at www.prison_penpals.com

Read all them Katie Price books I got for Christmas.

Cut down on the Pick N Mix only have it during Trisha and East Enders.

Tell that dipwit Mr. Hardcastle that either he gives me my raise by end of January or I show his wife the pictures. And I mean it this time.

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Last week's Tuesday 200.