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Tuesday 200 - #45

Six years ago, she’d been in the bath for a weekend. It began as a quick getaway from the kids. “Mommy’s taking a little bath,” she said, “you guys watch Barney.” It pained her, but that purple antichrist was a godsend. Having once sworn the “I love you” earworm would never crawl near her house, she admitted defeat, but hung onto her promise to never feed them McDonald’s.

She fished the Happy Meal toys out of the tub and slunk into the steaming water, plopping in a Lush Bath Bomb as well. They couldn’t be sold when they were broken, so her sister Margie would drop off remnants on the way home from the mall. Half Blue Bomb, half Sex Bomb.

A 6’3” blue genie materialized from the fizzy water.

“Once you go blue, you’ll want no other hue,” he gurgled.

Not long after that weekend of bubbly bliss, her kids, like their mother, found a new set of toys to play with. Barney was extinct as his prehistoric predecessors, replaced by a tribe of azure trolls named Brainy and Azrael and Papa.

“Fucking Smurfs,” her husband growled, never understanding her ever-so-quiet response …. “You have no idea.”


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