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Tuesday 200 - #54

"Maaaa, can we have bongs for breakfast?" my 9-year old hollered from upstairs.

Surely I heard that wrong.

"I'm on long distance with Aunt Vicki,” I yelled back. When in doubt, blame technology and your in-laws.

I topped off my mug with the last of the Maxwell House half-caff, hoping against hope it’d be good to the last drop, and splashed in some Bailey's. "Is there some new cereal I don't know about?" I asked her.

"Dunno, but there *is* a hot new story about two twinks on 'As the World Turns'. Blonde one looks like that boy you stalked in high school."

"I didn't stalk Jimmy Burke, I just invited him for a shower."

"Yup, every day of junior year. Anyway, these two boys on ATWT send me right to my shower massage. Is that wrong?"

"Everybody needs a hobby," I said. "Speaking of, didn't I see you on Dr Phil ... the one about fag hags who won't let go?"

"Ha. So what's Mikey squealin’ about?"

"Something about bongs. Last PTA newsletter I saw was about keepin’ ‘em off crack, not weed."

“Little fuckers’ll take anything. That’s why I keep my oxycontin in the Midol bottle.”

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