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Tuesday 200 - #61

Dear Miss Pithelthwonk,

Again, we wish to thank you for joining our school on such short notice. Mr. Bombledunk’s fourth graders are indeed very privileged to have you. He must certainly be resting more calmly knowing his students are under your wing.

We understand these first weeks will be an adjustment. However, we ask you to bear the following feedback in mind, fully realizing these points may not have been addressed during orientation.

1. Although we appreciate your teaching the “olfactory history of medieval Europe,” you may wish to reconsider having buckets of feces *and* vomit in your classroom.

2. DIY dentistry workshops, whilst instructional and often hygienically sound, should only be held on alternating Thursdays. As a kind reminder, School Board policy requires teachers do not keep any removed fillings.

3. Whilst Sally Field Trips are an inspired idea, questions have been raised regarding the artistic merit of screaming “hold your water” to a busload of children chanting “purple crayons, purple crayons.”

4. Your “Carrie” Christmas party proposal has been approved, provided your pig is slaughtered by a Halal butcher.

5. Please refrain from referring to to the children, or their parents, as retards.

Kind regards,

Horace Brunglestone

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