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The Invisible Ink in My Thought Bubbles

Here are some of the things I haven't said (out loud) today ...

  • You know Princess, if you'd just step into that two feet of empty space ahead of you in the carriage, the man you're glaring at might not keep bumping into you and your ill-fitting poly-blend Primark dress.

  • My my my, Mr. Business Commuter, you are incredibly handsome. It's not everyone who can sport a package like that in pinstriped suit trousers. How about we both call in sick and spend the morning back at my house?

  • Oh please do shut up. We don't care about whether or not your BFF's boyfriend may or may not have flirted with you after doing shots at Tiger Tiger this weekend.

  • Really? You've been standing in this slower-than-molasses-in-January queue for nearly ten minutes and now that they've FINALLY made your latte, you decide to fumble through your purse for change? No, it's okay. We all woke up this morning hoping we could wait for you. Oh, and it's a shame you don't have any mirrors in your house.

  • You might want to think about having more than two barristas during the pre-work rush hour.

  • If you're so effing miserable teaching here, why don't you move back to Australia and quit trying to destroy any inkling of joy the rest of us might find in our work?

  • I've had a wee crush on you for about a year now and you're looking especially fit today ... what do you say we sneak into the first aid room and play seven minutes in heaven?

  • You really do enjoy being a victim, don't you? Oh wait, I did say that. Just about ten mintues ago. To a teacher who was complaining how unfair it was that my student didn't show today and there weren't any adminstrative stand-by tasks for me to do.

Gee, the day's not even half-over yet.