Best. Wiener. Ever.

For those of you who bailed, got there late, or were otherwised engaged, you missed a remarkable evening last nigt.

I, on the other hand, had a blast. Congratualtions to all the readers ... you each were wonderful ... funny, sexy, a little dirty. Yay. It's all about hockey masks, gummy butts, instituional whirlpool baths, Chris Cornell, midgets, bloody cockblocks, unexpected watersports, toeless feet, strap-ons, tell-tale footwear, condom sausage, and a dabble of musical theater. Ah, the things a simple life is made of. Double congrats to the mistress of ceremonies for putting on such a great show.

And how did I not know about Crif Dogs?

Tonight we see my friend Nancy and that cutie Noah in one of their last tap dances across the Broadhurst boards.

MAK needs help moving tomorrow. I'll need help drinking. Choice is yours. Lift a box or lift a beer.