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Light Up the Night

Back in London for just about 12 hours now and I'm working through a big old nicotine jones.

Haven't had a smoke since Boxing Day ... smoked my last one the night before we got on the boat, thank you very much.

*bows*

But now I'm quietly sitting at home (and I guess it is home now, I ordered my first pizza delivery tonight), wishing I was out with friends, feeling a little blown off, and starting to stress out about all the work that I need to do now that I'm back.

Odd, not even a week ago, I wrote this down ...

Iíve lost track of the days. I thought to myself this morning, ďwhat day is it?Ē and I realized that I really didnít know. I could have figured it out easily enough, but I figured, why bother .. itís kind of fun to be so relaxed and removed from the outside that it really doesnít matter what day it is. Or what time. It just is. Iím diving and sleeping and reading and laughing and talking to people and wishing that more people I loved were here to share this amazing experience.

And now I'm back to reality and committed to be in the office on Friday and I know that it's now Wednesday night, and I pretty much even know the date and time ... which sadly isn't announced to me by the divemaster to tell me to suit up for my next dive.

And Cindy ... I haven't quite worked out the goals yet, but one of them is certainly to learn to break this habit of seeing things as insurmountable challenges rather than managemeble chunks. 2005 is the year Bob learns to see the elephant in bite-sized morsels.

I did some goal workshopping/brainstorming on holiday, and came up with some values to build them around, which I'll share bore you with now ... this year I'm going to try to focus on (in no particular order)

Passion
Health
Communication
Education
Adventure
Connection
Integrity

And with that, I think I just might open up another beer, watch the rest of "Britain's Celebrity Mingers," and figure out what project to tackle here in the apartment tomorrow. Maybe put a gallery of scuba photos together. Maybe get my haircut. Maybe enjoy my last day off for quite awhile.

Or maybe I'll just have a peanut butter sandwich, which I am eternally thankful to him for.

But either way, I'm not lighting up.