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Misadventures in Awareness

Evidently there's a subtle difference between meditation and lying in bed, teetering in and our of a semi-alpha state.

I sat for the first time in a good long while last night. My zafu got lost in the move (and we all know how painful that can be), so I used a sofa cushion, got situated on the floor, and set my timer for 10 minutes.

Baby steps. I used to sit for at least half an hour.

I only made it to 8. About half-way through, I was itching to look at the clock, to get up, to do anything but just sit in silence and breathe. I focused on my breath. I reminded myself that it would be over when the bell chimed, and there was no need to look at the clock. You can't control time. Just let go and be aware. Don't move, don't move, don't mo ....

Oh well, it was a start.

Undaunted, I got up this morning with determination to be more zen-like ... mindful, focusing one thing at a time, being present in the moment.

I got to the tube station, paying attention to my familiar surroundings that I see several times a week. There are two passageways to get to my train. I usually take the first, but today opted for the other ... just to shake up the routine. The posters are different. Cool.

The train comes and it's reasonably empty, a gift from the universe for making the choice to be at peace. I grab a seat and open my book (which sadly is almost finished).

A few stops later, I happen to see the station sign.

Notting Hill Gate.

I'm going the wrong direction.

I guess that's why they call it practice.

And we breathe. At least I got an extra few pages read.