May 30, 2003

“Bob’s sure not afraid of

“Bob’s sure not afraid of the vodka, is he?”

Apparently not. It seems, however, that I’ve been growing increasingly wary of the mixer. Therapy was unusually busy for a Thursday evening (memo to self: don’t hold LT7 at a venue where HX sponsors an open bar). So, in a spasm of sisterly generosity, I switched from martinis to Grey Goose on the rocks – purely to make the cute bartender’s life a little easier. Its “five-step distillation process” certainly makes for a clear, crisp beverage – but why does it feel like flock of geese (grey or other-colored) have taken a huge dump in my brain today. Mother Goose either needs a sixth distillation process or I need to explore the next 7 steps.

Also not afraid of the liquor were the two older gentlemen in front of us, bantering with each other as we all waited for our next round of free drinks. They were carrying on like two old school girls and noticed Soc and me laughing at with them. The senior of the two turned to us and laughed, "I used to be young, unattractive and shy. Now I'm old, ugly and sassy!"

Sassy, indeed. Cheers to them both.

So good to see J. out and about last night.The rumors are true, he still lives. There are so few talent agents out there who can a) pull off successful runway while holding a shopping bag, b) name the genus and species of every fish I've seen on a reef and c) go off for days about the unforgiveable sin of manicured eyebrows on boys. Let's have fondue soon.

Had a really sweet visit with V. last night. Hadn’t seen him in a good long while and it was great to reconnect. We used to spend Tuesday nights together in group, where we listened to each other’s deep, dark secrets in the “safe, not-to-leave-this-candle-lit-room” sandlot of emotional volleyball. I don’t miss the therapy, but I do miss the comfort of being able to say whatever you want and having everyone know the layers of backstory that got you to where you are. And I miss the grins that V. and I used to share, both during the process and in the months after we both had left. Don’t know how many lasting friendships or bonds normally last outside of the group therapy setting, but this is one’s definitely a keeper.

In other news, T. went bowling last weekend with a group of friends. In the group was “this really hot guy, well-over 6 feet, amazing body, salt-and-pepper hair.” Turns out he was a porn star.

“Which one?” I asked.

“Colton Ford. Do you know him? I’ve never seen him before.”

“Oh. My. God. You bowled with Colton Ford? Who’d have thought that up?” I was just watching him just the other night in After Shock. Dreamy, if a leathery spit-filled gang bang is your vision of dreamy. I promised to share my DVD with T., so he could see his new friend sliding down a different well-oiled alley.

May 29, 2003

With only one more work

With only one more work day to go in May, I do believe I've just had the most productive day of the month -- except for that Sunday when I pretended to take some Ritalin.

Was going to post something this morning, but blogger woudln't let me on and now I can't remember. Tra la.

I'm off for some tony cocktails with tonier friends.

May 28, 2003

A couple more memories from

A couple more memories from the weekend ...

We found two new lovely ladies to channel: Dusty Muffin ("I just need a little Endust to polish up my act, cough cough") and Karen Wo (all packed up with nowhere to go).

Standing near the bar at The Wave, guy walks up to me from the dancefloor ..

Guy: You havin' a good time?
Me: Yup
Guy: 'Cause you look like you're a good time waiting to happen.

Do lines like that really work?

Connie got stalked by Bombay Lil, from the Boatslip to Taco Bell way off the Cape. Girl, run for the border

We listened to this on the long, rainy ride home ... top 500 according to whom?

Larry's off to Toronto for some business meetings. Wondering if I should quarantine him when he comes home.

Okay then, seven days until Vegas and there is much muchness to be done between now and then.

May 27, 2003

It was chilly. It was

It was chilly. It was rainy. It was so cloudy and foggy that, at times, you couldn't see the monument. It was a blast.

Memorial Day in Provincetown -- where the lesbians are young and LOUD and filled to the rim with canned beer. It was a lot busier in town than I expected, and everyone made the best of the crappy weather.

Went to a crochet croquet tournament on Sunday and won a lovely pair of pink, heart-shaped sunglasses, complete with a pink fuzzy case that clips on a belt loop. Stylin'. Saw a drag show with at least 6-7 minutes of quality comedy (the season's young and I'm sure she'll get funnier). Saw the fabulous new electric palm trees on the Crown's back patio. Saw lots of old friends, saw lots of new boys I wouldn't mind being friends with. Saw L. getting his groove on to Julian Marsh in one of the best happy-white-boy-dancin' moments ever.

Didn't see enough of the local Cape Tip boys or the visiting Texan, but will rectify that on the next trip up in June.

And here we are, back in reality ....

May 23, 2003

The Friday that starts a

The Friday that starts a long weekend always seems like one of those special days -- a goofy sense of the inner 8-year old all giddy because it's the last day of school. Everybody's going to book out early and even the crappy notion of being stuck in I-95 traffic for over 3 hours doesn't seem so daunting. It'll just be good to be up on the Cape and play with my friends, crappy weather and all.

L. and I had a very interesting talk last night. Both of our jobs are in flux -- well, the truth is we've both been doing the same thing for too long and we're in flux with our jobs. There are lay-offs galore in both of our companies. People are stressed. Change is in the air. You know it's telling when your (ex-) boss says "If you had a decent offer from the outside, well, I'd take it if I were you." Ouch.

I've put the whole "time to get out of my comfort zone and move to the next level" speech out to several colleagues, as has L. Be careful what you wish for. Seems there are a number of possibilities our there. I don't want to jinx anything by saying too much, but I think there will be several irons in a few fires within the next couple months. After our chat last night, I feel okay about it all -- for the first time in a long while. It's scary, but it will all be exciting and fun, although maybe a little painful. Chant with me ... "change is good, change is good."

Of course there's the possibility that six months from now we'll both be in the same place with the same job and lamenting what a boring summer it was. You just never know.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

May 22, 2003

Hey sailor The weather may

Hey sailor

The weather may be dreary, but all most the uniforms flitting about Times Square sure do make for lovely sightseeing.

May 21, 2003

My brain tumor has migrated

My brain tumor has migrated southwards and now is lodged somewhere below my trachea and above my stomach.

By all reports, it's going to be a chilly, wet weekend in Provincetown. But that's okay, it's Provincetown and weather forecasts have been wrong before.

Nine things about last night's show
1. Mary Stuart Masterson suprised me -- a little stiff with the gestures, but Idgie can sing!
2. Jane Krakowski made me laugh then broke my heart (and is sadly robbed of a "Simple" ovation)
3. Love Chita, but Liliane's audience participation went on too long
4. How much fun would it be to watch Little Nell go on as Liliane??
5. Waiting for the water became tedious
6. Elena Shaddow, the u/s for Laura Benanti's Claudia did a darn fine job
7. Antonio is charming, sexy and sings the loud notes just fine (but he kinda mumbles and falls into the 'I'm angry--I'm shouting--I'm acting' trap a couple too many times)
8. Did the spiral staircase represent a double-helix -- i.e. the reason that makes Guido "be Italian" and, like all that water, it's just his genetic make-up? Or was it just a cool set?
9. The audience was a Fellini film. Loved, loved, loved the 4.5' woman in a black pant suit, gym shoes, copper red hair and 1-inch long fake red eyelashes. Fan. Tas. Tic.

Gypsy's a better show (on paper), but which production will win best revival?

May 20, 2003

listology * Zanna Don't is


* Zanna Don't is adorable ... even without Ms. Rodriguez, who was apparently resting for an appearance at the Drama Desk Awards.
* ended up at Rock Center for the closing party for Les Miz on Sunday ... nothing like being in the right place at the right time
* learned that Utilities is no longer just about spoons. It's "kitchen, bath and home." Expand the brand.
* channeled Judith Traherne yesterday and stayed in bed all day with a nasty brain tumor. I'm still feeling like crap today and several people in my office are out with similar symptoms ... headache, earaches, muscle aches, queasy stomach. Yup, it's a brain tumor. I've scheduled an appointment with Dr. Steele. I expect the surgery will go well.
* have tickets for Nine tonight. hope I live that long.

May 18, 2003

Seems that Thomas either has

Seems that Thomas either has or will be spending some time at Home Depot this weekend.

Yesterday's faux Ritalin day was a reasonable success. Got caught up on several fronts, but didn't come close to whittling down the backlog list as much as I'd have liked to. So I'll jump on the raft and ride this wave of quasi-production and try to get at least two or three more things done. At a couple hours a project, that will eat up most of the afternoon. It's beautiful out, so I'd like to get a run in as well. Busy busy busy.

Wigfield was very funny last night, but the teeniest skosh of a disappointment (to me). The "page to the stage" concept was a souped up staged reading, which works because the text is truly twisted. I guess I'd been hoping for a little more than a reading: some costumes, some wigs, etc. -- more of a Talent Family meets Greater Tuna production. Realistically, that'd be a ton of work for a such a limited run, and I'm glad to have seen what they put on. Someone should bankroll the film version -- a documentary would be brilliant.

The three author/actors had a great time reading/performing monologues from the book, with Todd Oldman's photographs of Wigfield's white trash projected on the screen behind. And Amy had cupcakes for sale.

It's coming to Altanta, D.C. and Boston -- go see it. It's a fine evening of bent humor.

After the show and some Italian food, C.B. whisked us off to a tony little cocktail party down on Bank Street, where we saw a prime example of this trend. Many thanks to our hosts Aaron and Tosh. The walk home took us right by XL, and it would have been rude not to pop in to see the new lightshow we'd just read about. The lights were cool, but more interesting were the scads of straight people. At one point, it was like a tour bus came in. I think it's now officially a post-gay bar. I applaud assimilation, but I really hope Chelsea doesn't turn into SoHo (too late??). I guess that's why we now have "Hellsea".

May 17, 2003

Went to Therapy last night.

Went to Therapy last night. It's a great space, and the food's good too. And Adam is ... well, meow.

Now that nobody's smoking (inside), I've noticed there's a curious new aroma wafting around our local watering holes. Cologne. Lots of it. If I choked on Obsession once last night, I did it it 100 times. And a host of others, all competing for olafactory awareness. Girls, please ... if you must wear your favorite scent, a little dab'lll do you.

Came into the office this morning to pretend I'm on Ritalin and focus focus focus. I have 5-6 projects I've fallen way behind on and this is the weekend to catch up, clean up and move forward. No t.v., no naps on the sofa, no blogs, no Friendster, no surfing, just knocking out the backlog so I can be on top of things come Monday.

I've got a stack of CDs, 2 liters of Diet Coke and a list of projects on the white board.

This is me diving into the pool of work.

*holds nose*
*takes a deep breath*


May 16, 2003

Oh the fun we'll have

Oh the fun we'll have

Tonight we play with Willie (no, that's not a euphamism), a friend we met in Australia last fall, who's in town from San Jose.

Tomorrow night is Wigfield.

Sunday is Denishoi's triumphant return to our little island from her spoon shack up on the Cape. We shall celebrate with a viewing of Zanna Don't. Joey, if you have any messages you'd like relayed to your amour du Barrage, please let me know.


Saw Cavedweller last night. Not my favorite work of the season.

May 15, 2003

It's better to travel When

It's better to travel

When in doubt, get the hell out of Dodge.

Heading up to the Cape in one week.

I can't wait to get back. Good times will abound in Cape Fear as we ring in the new season with Connie, Dr. M (and his motorbike) and special Atlanta guest stars Philth and Andrew ... not to mention the usual cast and crew of locals. Toss the vodka in the freezer girls, we're coming home.

Less than three weeks till we're all in Las Vegas for the big family get together. Lined up tickets to this today.

I haven't been to Vegas for close to 20 years. It'll be like going to a brand new place. And several of the group, including Larry, have never been. It's going to be a blast. Who needs this work thing anyway?

Although it might be late notice, just saw on Gawker that Paris and Nicky are on Hollywood Squares this week. Gor. Geous.

Co-workers are entertaining. Downright funny,

Co-workers are entertaining. Downright funny, in fact. Especially when they run 3.5 miles and then go out drinking on the Firm's expense account.

But that's all I'll say.

Except ... why would the chick from H.R. ask ME what rumors I've heard lately? Isn't she the one who's supposed to know the dirt?

I told her that "except for H.R. all being outsourced," all I knew was to hurry up and wait.

May 14, 2003

It's not the Rat Race,

It's not the Rat Race, it's the Corporate Challenge.

Racing season officially begins in 45 minutes. I'd best get to the starting line.

May 13, 2003

I'm back in the apartment,

I'm back in the apartment, after leaving a little over 18 hours ago. Since then, I've been on 4 planes, in three airports (twice in each, God bless the Crown Room), had two long meetings and one not-so-good lunch at the ever-charming Kunz's in beautiful downtown Lousiville, KY. I'm 3,256 Qualification Miles closer to Silver for next year. I don't like the new rules ... I'll never hit Gold again at this rate.

All in all, it was a fine day, if not a trifle long. Put on my "roving ambassador of goodwill" hat and had some productive meetings, got some new projects rolling and all is as well as can be hoped for in the land of hurry up and wait. Yup, it's that good. Yawn.

Read this on the plane coming back. The lesbian loves the dwarf who loves the killer who loves the lesbian. The town's only happy if it has somewhere to go and hang out. Love's a funny thing, and that's the sound of the men working on the chain gang.

And this is the sound of me getting under the covers with that cute boy snoring in the other room.

May 12, 2003

Pass the Midol Yesterday I

Pass the Midol

Yesterday I was lethargic and full of self-pity. Today was all about stress and anger. And feeling a little crampy and bloated. Tomorrow I should be bleeding and this nasty cycle will be over for a few weeks. I've got a 6 a.m. flight to Louisville and come back tomorrow evening. What drugs was I on when I scheduled that?

The uncertainty at work continues ... in spades. Have no idea who my new boss is going to be, nor what my job will be in the next few months. Rumor has it that I'll still have one, which is a good thing. It's all about "hurry up and wait." One would think I'd be used to this ... it's only been that way for the last six months.

If anyone is taking nominations

If anyone is taking nominations for the Prince of Procrastination, I hereby humbly submit myself to the competition. I've got so much I should be doing, or at least think I should be doing, but when I got home this afternoon from the weekend down in Spring Lake, I promptly found a comfortable spot on the sofa, turned on some relaxing music and took a nap.

So, Bob, what's really going on?

I've just lost interest lately. And I feel like I need a change, but that anything I do to make that change is either pointless or stupid or a waste of time. I could write (something other than this drivel), but then it'd be for a class or for work and I don't want to do turn something in that's half-assed or not up to some standard I've set for myself.

Oh, that perfectionism issue that you spent how many months in therapy dealing with?

Yeah, I know. That and creating my own drama ... like missing deadlines or overcommitting myself to things and then beating myself up because I've failed again ... when in fact I've failed at nothing. Isn't that the ultimate in avoidance ... just not doing anything? Shutting down. Taking a nap? Ah, sleep, the ultimate in procrastination. I'm not sure what's worse, taking a nap or then waking up and putting off doing any work to watch the season finale of Survivor. I never watch Survivor. I don't even like the show. I have no interest in Jenna or Matt or Rob or the rest of them. But there I was, paying attention to a show I didn't watch one episode of this season, and getting sucked right in. Pathetic

Sounds like just one more thing to beat yourself up about.

Perhaps. But it is kinda pathetic.

True. So what's the next step to get out of being pathetic?

I guess the answer tonight is to go to bed, get a good night's sleep and start fresh tomorrow. That would be a much better alternative than sitting up all night worrying about things you haven't done, or frantically trying to catch up on things and then being a mess tomorrow because you didn't get a good night's rest.

So what's some good stuff to focus on before you hit the sack? And why the sudden shift to second person in that last response?

1. I don't care to discuss point of view.
2. It felt really good to have that 4-mile run yesterday.
3. Larry pulling up to the full-serve gas station yesterday and saying, "Fill it up unleaded, please." The attendant looked at him like he was from Mars. I gently reminded him that most all gas has been unleaded for several years now, and that our Jeep never took diesel. I laughed for miles and miles over that one.
4. A midnight walk on the boardwalk. The sea and salt air is so amazing. And so very close.
5. Tomorrow's another day, and I just need to focus. It's really not that fucking hard.

So quit making it that way.

Shut up. I'm going to bed.



May 9, 2003

It's a nice quiet night

It's a nice quiet night at home, a little Kraft dinner and some television. Yup, that's us, living on the edge of glamour here in New York City.

The only thing out of the ordinary is this helicopter that keeps flying by, very low, shining its searchlight across the rooftops of the neighborhood buildings. What's up with that? Escaped convicts? Sniper alerts? Did the police get wind of somebody smoking where they shouldn't be? Very strange. Not to mention noisy.

Checked the local news websites, but they've got nothing to say about it.

It's odd how a week

It's odd how a week can just fly by and then Friday afternoon drags on into an eternity. I'm certain it has nothing to with the vat of vodka that I consumed last night. Thursday is the new Friday, right? I just need to plod through 2 more hours of this work thing, then I'm off to get all these toxins massaged out of me.

Looking forward to a little beach house hunting this weekend down the shore.

May 8, 2003

Feeling a little unattractive, a

Feeling a little unattractive, a little old and haggard? Here's a quick pick-me-up: spend a few minutes in the smoking lounge of Terminal B at the Atlanta airport. Yikes.

The weather gods were not smiling on our hero this week, at least during his layovers at Hartsfield. We had a three-hour rain delay last Friday night and a 90-minute wait tonight. Oy. But all's well that ends well. I seemed to have missed all the tornados and am safely esconced in the Emerald City ... at least that's what NYC looked like tonight with The Empire State Building lit up all green.

May 6, 2003

Back in my hotel room

Back in my hotel room after an amazing dinner at some fancy schmancy B&B in Indian Wells. A truly amazing space. Especially the bathroom. If you're curious, email me and I'll send you pictures. And, OUCH, I was enjoying a martini at the loft/B&B/restaurant tonight and bit into an olive, which wasn't pitted properly. I think I cracked my tooth. Hopefully, when the vodka wears off in the morning, it won't hurt too much.

Memo to self: Sales and Marketing professionals, albeit mainly straight, can be excellent drinkers -- although the men folk get awful drunk and hang on the sleaziest girls. But I'm not here to judge. All I'm sayin' is that I didn't think you can write off hookers on your expense report.

Catchin' up on blogs from the weekend ...

Your new cut is too cute. Whatever hair drama you thought you might have had was has clearly grown out. And anyone with proper (trailer park) breeding would never second guess chicken in a can.

You, and everyone else, should just go see what you want to see. Life's short. And Potty Mouth is shorter. Buy a ticket. Now.

This real job thing is making you cranky. It only gets worse ... take a deep breath.

Night dears. I have to be up in a few hours for the Afterburners. I'm a little afraid.

May 5, 2003

Greetings from the desert. It's

Greetings from the desert.

It's dry. It's warm. It's beautiful. I'm now staying here, where the scenery is amazing, if not a little more fully clothed than the scenery I saw yesterday afternoon here. Don't know that the Mirage would be the classiest place to stay, but much fun can be had for the afternoon visitor. And the waterfall area is amazingly smaller than the picture would have one believe.

Dial-up access to the office has been all messed up, so I haven't been able to get online for work, class or blog, and have fallen way behind on all counts. Finally got IT to fix me up this afternoon. But the resort is great, the conference is very good and I'm meeting great people and learning a lot.

Only been away for 3 days, but it seems much much longer. Have an hour-long break, and really can't justify typing when I could be out by the pool, so more details to come. Hmmm, I guess we can file this one under "waste of bandwidth postings."

May 2, 2003

Mama's doin' fine The Times,

Mama's doin' fine

The Times, The Post and Newsday are all thumbs up for Bernadette. She pulled it off kids. At least last night she did.

Congratulations to everyone in Gypsy.

In other news, last night did not go so smoothly for our least favorite senator. Perhaps he should have gone to the theater instead.

May 1, 2003

Okay then, another day done.

Okay then, another day done. Off to SBNY for refreshing adult beverages, then home to pack for tomorrow's trip to Palm Springs. A couple days of fun, a couple days of work, and then it's back to the real world. My real world. Not MTV's.

Found this information (on Toddo's

Found this information (on Toddo's site) about Brad McNaughton's clever effort to rebuke the all-too-misguided efforts of Fred Phelps

I think it's a great idea and have signed up. If you're so inclined, you can too.

Saw the new Cirque du

Saw the new Cirque du Soleil this evening. Lovin' those hang-from-the-strap Atherton brothers, even if they were wearing "dueling Cher" costumes. And if any of those flying Russian boys need help getting out of those airbrushed tights ... just give a shout.

Kind of a schlepp to get there, with it being on Randall's Island. And the ferry ride back to Manahttan ... girrrrllllllll, I've taken boats to The Pines that had more straight people. All we needed was some disco music and a cocktail and it'd have been a regular sea tea.

Many thanks to you for the tickets, the costume quote and the motorcycle ride home. Always a pleasure to be your bike bitch.