September 30, 2003

Shaken, Not Stirred

I think lovely Chris needs to bone up on her Japanese ... clearly this is a cocktail shaker, not a sex toy.

September 29, 2003

If It's a Fast, How Come It Goes So Slow?

I'm having my cholesterol rechecked in the morning, after being on a double-dose of Lipitor this month. Well, actually it's the triglycerides that are off the charts.

The only bad thing about getting a blood test in the a.m. is that I have to fast in the p.m. and I'm hungry right now.

Worrying (or not) about my cholesterol. And all this gray hair. I'm slowly becoming my father after all.

Oh well, it beats the alternative.

Exercise & Exfoliation Exceeds Expectations

Sunday was top drawer, really top drawer.

As lovely as an Atlanta porch sounds, we found a more urban way to spend quality time with the gays yesterday afternoon. After a trip to the gym, we took a stroll through BB&B (just browsing, thanks). Then we popped by the Kiehl's counter at the Co-op and ran into all sorts of boys; catching up with old Fire Island housemates, swapping Ptown stories and raking in a small fortune of "travel samples" from the honey behind the counter. She aslo recommended a kicky little exfoliating scrub with clay and grape seeds, which I thoroughly enjoyed during my pre-Sydney shower/spa last night.

And if working out, shopping and hanging with Lorna Larry weren't enough to make the day complete, I was overcome by a spasm of culinary creativity and whipped up a new recipe: Chickpea Stew with Essence of Lemon and Cumin over Polenta. Fast, filling and really tasty, found in the latest issue of Cooking Light.

The weather today is text-book back-to-school gorgeous. So nice I might even have to go for a run this afternoon. My first day back in the office is zipping right along, and if all continues at this pace, I think I might be caught up by November. Woo hoooo.

Now then, off to find me some lunch.

September 28, 2003

Do You Know Where You're Going To?

I woke up this morning with the panicky feeling that I'd overslept and was either late for work or going to miss my flight. After all, I'd had a free day yesterday so it must be time to jet off somewhere, be on an early-morning conference call or sit in a branding meeting.

A few deep breaths and some rubbing of the eyes sent Hypnos and Morpheus packing and I realized that it's only Sunday, I'm not in a hotel and I've got another day until I'm back in the trenches. Lord knows what my inbox will look like after not being in the office for so long, but I don't have to deal with that for another 22 hours or so.

We watched the very U.S.-affirming Bowling for Columbine last night. I looked across the living room and asked Larry, "Aren't you glad you immigrated here?" I think he was this close to sleeping with his Canadian passport under his pillow. It's only mildly comforting to remember he's a dual citizen and we could, in theory, live there.

And then, to drive Mr. Moore's points home, this was on the news this morning. What's worse ... a) leaving your 4-, 5-, and 7-year old kids in the house alone on a Saturday night or b) having a loaded gun in the house where they can get to it? Morons.

Speaking of moronic ... the second half of last night's double feature was Swimfan. Ouch. Who greenlighted that? As cute as Jesse is, the poor movie just didn't float.

Don't forget ... Alias returns tonight. Sydney wakes up two years later. Huh?!? I'm so hoping the shark has not been jumped.

Time to get a move on. I just asked Larry if he wanted to take me to the gym or blow me. Apparently I'll be lifting weights ... as soon as his Lifetime movie is over.

September 27, 2003

New York is Where I'd Rather Stay

I'm finally back on my little island of Manhattan. The streets are dirty. The people look scruffy. The sidewalks are filled with noise and dog crap. Yay. It's good to be home.

Halo was a welcome change from the corporate functions I'd been attending all week. Quite the collection of cuties, including John and his Ptown posse (hey y'all ... twon's gonna send me a t-shirt!!).

Now, if one were to believe everything they read, it would seem that I held a gun to his head and force fed him the Mandarin and soda(s) with a spash of OJ. I guess in Atlanta they don't have metal detectors at the door so one can actually enter the club with a firearm with the intent of getting boys to drink against their will. It's kinda silly ... slipping them a roofie is so much easier.

Memo to self (and Phil, Andrew and Scott): there is no reason on God's green earth to drink a fishbowl of margaritas before one heads off to Halo. Dinner = good. Fishbowls, notsomuch.

Memo to Gollum Philth: I want my ring back.

All in all, a very fun evening. And while one of our friends might have woken up fully clothed that morning before making the Betty Ford reservation, bear in mind another chap who unxpectedly woke up on his sofa the next morning wearing nothing but a cleansing mask. Too drunk to get to bed, but not too drunk to tone and tighten. Atta girl. Aren't you glad you got that fabric Scotchgarded™?

So on four hours sleep, I checked out of the ex-Nikko, went into the office, became editor-in-chief of a new global publication, got wind of another trip to Altanta within the next week or so and a trip to Brussels right after that, had a couple fuzzy meetings and bolted off to Hartsfield where Delta had come through with the upgrade and delivered me (sit down ...) 30 minutes early into La Guardia.

I arrived home from my 2-week adventure to a smiling (and seemingly skinnier) Larry who had festively decorated the house with "Welcome Back" streamers and balloons was actually on the couch wating for me, as opposed to laying in bed and watching Lifetime. He did miss me, he did miss me!

Got to (my own) bed at a reasonably early hour and proceded to sleep for 12 hours. It's good to be back.

We tooled around town today, looking at new cars (the lease on the Jeep is up so we'll probably just swap it for a new one), buying new underwear (25% off) and suits (2-4-1 sale) at Macy's (plus an additional 15% if you open a "new" Macy's account -- that's like our 34th one) and deciding that none of the multiplexes were showing anything worthwhile.

Now then, who wants to cook some dinner for us? We're plum wore out from shopping.

The next few weeks promise to be almost as busy as the last two, but at least I'm not flying anywhere for a few days ... although it looks like I'm back in Belgium in less than two weeks.

September 25, 2003

When In Rome

Since the other Atlanta boys are doing it, I'll play along too.

In my wallet:

* AAdvantage Citicard
* Amex Corporate Card
* Delta Sky Miles Platinum Amex
* Computer Car VIP Card
* MTA MetroCard
* Business card for a Louisville Taxi
* Insurance Card
* NYSC Gym card
* Barnes & Noble Readers' Advantage Card
* SkyMiles Gold Medallion Card
* Food by Flik frequent diners' card (office cafeteria)
* Ingtegral Yoga 20-class card (6 used)
* NY Public Library Card
* PADI Advanced Open Water Diver card
* A few of my business cards
* SBNY Card (why?)
* 54 US Dollars
* 60 Pounds Sterling
* Reciepts for Midcity Cuisine and Joe's on Juniper (to be expensed)
* NY Driver Licence
* Work ID
* Code for Den's garage door in Ptown

September 23, 2003

Aleman Left ... Which Way Did He Go?

What better way to celebrate the first day of autumn than a square dance with your national sales and marketing team. Yup, I'm off to a corporate hootenanny and praying to Minnie Pearl that there's lots of adult libation at this shindig. God help us.

Spent all day in focus groups on building a worldwide brand. Sales and Marketing folks are all for it. Product people are saying leave us the hell alone, we don't need no stinkin' branding.

It's gonna be a fun next three months.

And swing your partner ...

September 22, 2003

A Homo Hypothesis

Scott asks when the first time we realized we were gay.

I'm not exactly sure what the first time was. But I do remember saying this to my sister once when we were in grade school:

So, um, if I were a girl, Jimmy Burke would be cute, right?

She assured me that, yes, he was. That was probably an early clue, eh?

Back in the U.S.A.

And by U.S.A., I refer to the Urban Sprawl of Atlanta.

The trip to London was a big success. Had some great meetings, made some new contacts in the firm and got in some fun playtime as well.

Hightlights include: pints with Tracey and Di at the after-work pub, Camp Attack at G.A.Y., a local lunch with Brazilian flair, a walk through and dinner in Chelsea, the Queen's Head, and, for a mere 10 pounds, one of the best dance nights I've ever spent with my inner 14-year old girl (who shall be named Cammie) when I returned to G.A.Y and saw a live performance of Westlife. I heart Kian. Is it so wrong that he was born the same year I graduated high school? And how adorable was the boy on the dance platform who knew all the lyrics and choreography to every bubble-gum anthem that blared through the club? I just had to tip him a Carling. Or three. It's just so much easier to express one's appreciation by handing somebody a cold beer and walking away than actually trying to get him to stop having fun and say, "Gee, you're cute, I'm leaving your country in 6 hours and just wanted to say hi."

Oh yeah, and I *yawn* saw that yob David Blayne hanging over the Thames.

So now it's a week here in the Streets of Peaches for a big marketing meeting and some follow-up brand stuff from last week's kick-off. Too many breakfast meetings have already been planned. 7 a.m. -- what's up with that? Those kookie corportate event planning girls are making us square dance tomorrow night. Oy.

Who wants to meet me at Halo on Thursday? Maybe you or you or you? Never been and I'll need to break away from the pod people my work friends by then.

September 18, 2003

My, What a Big Clock

I'm probably a little jet lagged, and I've had a few pints, but today's work adventure was a big success and hopefully is a telling precursor to tomorrow's brand kick-off meeting.

I'm staying just a couple blocks away from some of the world's most famous landmarks. I think I could live in this city, but they'd have to pay me a Queen's ransom. Then again, her house is only a few blocks away ... if only there weren't those cute men in red coats and tall silly hats standing in the way.

As exciting as it all it, I pretty much hate this hotel and I miss Larry and the cats.

However, I did find some unexpected family to hang with on the weeend ... a mutually beneficial friendship which could enlighten me on life in London and help him understand our good ol' boy, capitalist American ways. Sounds more sordid than it is, but it's intriguing nonetheless.

Quelle monde.

September 17, 2003

Let the Floggings Begin

Some helpful hints to any secretaries administrative assistants out there.

1. If you reschedule someone for a meeting with your boss for a Wednesday morning, please enter it into the calendar for Wednesday, not Tuesday. Not only does it make you look better, but it's helpful for your boss and the person he's trying to get in touch with.

2. If you're going out of town for two days after you've messed up the schedule, change your voicemail to let people know you're not around to rectify the unfortunate situation you've created by being an idiot a tad scatterbrained.

Thanks for trying (my patience).

PAICRing Myself

The conference went really well, and as the next President of the Association, I'm really proud of the work we did. I need to head out early in the morning to get checked in for my trip to London. I'd really like to head down to boy's town in San Diego, but I'm so friggin' tired that I'm just going to pack up and go to bed. Get up fresh. Oh my god, I'm acting like a grown up. Make it stop.

Yesterday I learned some disappointing news about work. I' was passed over for a certain level of firm-wide recognition that I'd been hoping for. I'm upset about the decision, but more upset about the way it was communicated to me.

Despite this little bump in the career path, I know things will work out fine.

And earlier this evening, I had an experience that put my disappointment into clear perspective.

Had dinner with family tonight up in Oceanside. I haven't seen my Aunt J. in many years. She was my favorite Aunt when I was little ... the "cool" one. The one who let me have root beer with my pancakes at breakfast. The one who was the rebel and always played full out with us kids.

Eleven years ago, her very young daughter had a son who was born with severe birth defects. I met Zach tonight for the first time. No one thought he'd live, let alone be 11 years old. He is a complete invalid, has no control of his extremities, and needs to be strapped into a wheelchair where he just He has to be fed liquids through a tube in his stomach ... he's never had solid food and yet he just keeps growing. He has the mental capacity of a 9-18 month old baby, has had countless surgeries, and needs to have more.

My aunt has raised her grandson as her own ... Zach's mother was around 14 at the time, and was really in no way equipped to be a mom. Taking care of this kid is a 24-hour job and will be for the rest of his life. I have no idea what goes on in his mind, but he looks around and laughs. I have to believe he knows he's loved and is completely cared for.

I just don't know how AJ does it. I really can't imagine what her life has turned into. She looks so old, but she still has the spirit I remember being so fun when I was a kid. She's not in the best of health herself, but she lives and breaths for that boy. She has been dealt a really fucked up hand. She has accepted it and plays it beautifully.

The whole thing is so incredibly sad to me, yet the love I saw tonight fills my heart with warmth and my eyes with tears.

I don't mean to be maudlin. I'm just overwhelmed by it all. My trivial career concerns are nothing compared to the what she and Zach live through every day.

God bless you AJ. You are an amazing woman.

September 16, 2003

The Real Thing

Yay. I'm not the only one who blogs sweetly about their other half.

Good for Steve and Cliff.

September 14, 2003

Got Stoned on My Birthday

Yesterday was amazing. It was one of those perfect fall Provincetown days ... blue skies, no humidity, warm sunshine with a cool breeze off the bay. It really could not have been more beautiful.

Decided to make it a day of pampering, so I had a facial at the Blue Day Spa. The woman who took care of my pores was the same one took care of my pours the night before ... bartender at Lorraine's by night, facialist by day. Then I had a hot stone massage from the lovely Madrone. Hello alpha state.

Larry put together a beautiful little party. Some catered hors' douvres and cocktails aplenty took us into the night, where we visited my favorite bartender at the A-House. Took a post-midnight motorcycle ride with Chris out to Race Point which was really magical.

Less than 24 hours ago, I was wading in the Atlantic Ocean. Now I'm sitting in a hotel room (where I was very surprised to find a vase of gorgeous fresh-cut b-day flowers from colleages at this conference), listening to a mini-symphony of crickets and the Pacific Ocean crashing against the Del Mar shoreline.

41 has started off very nicely.

And a very happy fifth birthday to my nephew J. Hope your cake was good, that you like your Incredible Hulk gloves and your very own Stop Making Sense DVD. Any toddler that rocks out to Talking Heads is good by me.

September 12, 2003

What Do You Do with a B.A. in English?

Avenue Q was simply delightul. Loved loved loved it.

Maybe Larry and I are examples of arrested development, but for a show that supposed to "speak" to twenty-somethings, it sure hit home for us old geezers. Not that we're that old, mind you.

Catching a car (to a plane to a boat) in a couple hours and am scurrying about in my typical going-on-trip-must-tie-up-all-loose-end-NOW routine. Of course, there's always a 5-minute break to knock out a quick blog entry.

Today's the last day of me being 40. What a great year it's been. No time to scribble about it all right now, but I expect some reminiscent highlights will be up here in the none-too-distant future.

Long story short: I’m a very lucky boy and for those of you who helped me get here, who make me think, who make me laugh and who are a part of this silly roller coaster I ride … I thank each of you from the bottom of my jaded cautiously optimistic heart.


September 11, 2003

Tomorrow I'll Know What the "Q" Means

It's my last night in Manhattan for a fortnight. What to do? Wreak havoc on MCI? Scream and moan at the CompUSA people?

Wait ... I know, I think I'll go have a smart cocktail and then watch Avenue Q.

Yay. I've been waiting to see this for a long time. Thanks to my favorite Ho for setting it up.

Chong Bong Wrong

Does the Big House have Big Bambu?

September 10, 2003

Are You Kidding Me?

MCI's still a no show. Called at noon, they said they were running 30-45 minutes late. Called at 3, talked to Dolores, who asked if they could reschedule. I said no. Had to be today.

Got put through to dispatch and John told me that there was a computer glitch and that no tickets for Manhattan were in the system today, and they'd just found out. No one could come out today.

"And nobody noticed in all of dispatch that you had no trucks out in Manhattan today? Isn't that a little odd?"

"Well, actually, it is, but we just found out."

"Let me talk to your manager."

He came back 10 minutes later and said he was working with his manager's manager to get somebody out and he'd call me back within 20 minutes. I said I 'd hold and he said he didn't want to keep me on hold. That was 90 minutes ago.

I could call him anytime at 800.353.2755. So I started calling back around an hour ago ... it rings for 3 minutes and then hangs up on me.

Called back my friends at residential repair. Talked to Sherri this time and relayed my woeful tale. She read all the notes in my file and seemed to think someone was still on their way. Those ladies in Denver are surely well-trained in saying "I apologize for any inconvenience." God bless 'em, it's not their fault and they give really good phone. But it's just not helping. She put me on hold and came back saying she couldn't get through to dispatch either. "Just wait until 5 or so, hopefully someone will be there. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Um, can I have my day back?

All I wanted was my phone jacks to work properly, not to be jacked around for a week. I do believe that MCI Neighborhood is about to lose a customer.

I wish they gave a rat's ass about that.

I'm pretty sure they don't.

Don't Get Pissed, Make a List

I'm at home again this morning, wating for the phone company to come back and finish what they started on Monday. I can work remotely, but I'm all caught up on the email and phone-related things, so now there's nothing to do but wait till I can get back in the office.

Packed as much as I could for the 2-week trip.

The phone guy's supposed to be here between 8 and noon. 20 minutes to go. So now there's nothing much to do except follow Jeff's lead and write a dang list.

10 bands singers you've been listening to a lot lately
1. Liz Phair
2. Gloria Gaynor
3. Matchbox 20
4. Busted
5. Mary Chapin Carpenter
6. Alison Moyet
7. Old Cher (redundant, I know … I mean her old music)
8. Annie Lennox
9. Sarah Brightman (Dive)
10. Train

9 things you look forward to
1. Ptown
2. Scuba diving
3. Learning to spend less than I earn
4. Christmas
5. Christmas tourists leaving Manhattan
6. Being at a beach
7. Reading
8. Down time
9. Having all the balls in play, each of them in somebody else’s court (a ghastly sports/business metaphor; my apologies)

8 things you like to wear
1. Jeans
2. Jocks
3. Shorts
4. T-shirts
5. My prescription sunglasses
6. My orange Steve Madden sneakers
7. Tivas
8. Zilch

7 things that annoy you

1. Drivers who honk their horns halfway down the block as soon as the light changes
2. Loud people in public (on subways, in restaurants, etc)
3. Ringing cell phones – put the damn thing on vibrate
4. People on airplanes who chatter incessantly on their cell phone
5. People on airplanes who chatter incessantly
6. People who are late
7. Stupidity

6 things you say most days
1. Fuck.
2. This is Bob
3. I’m tired
4. Larry, you’re watching Lifetime?
5. I’ll find out and get back to you
6. Cab, stop it!

5 things you do everyday
1. Consume caffeine
2. Talk to Larry
3. Go for a walk
4. Write
5. Dirgha Pranayama

4 people you'd like to spend more time with
1. Karen and her family.
2. Grandma Bunny
3. Viola
4. Zeb Atlas

3 movies you could watch over and over again
1. All About Eve
2. Auntie Mame
3. The Ref

2 of your favorite songs at the moment
1. "Extraordinary," by Liz Phair
2. "I Never Knew," by Gloria Gaynor

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with
That's easy. Him.

September 9, 2003

A Favorite Reblooms

I'm psyched he's coming back, but you all will be pleased to know I'm not bringing back the penguin collection.

Agent of Lucifer

Over the past few month, I've been making a concerted effort to cut down on the credit card spending. One of my tactics is to not use my Amex and only pay cash, or use the MasterCard linked to my checking account.

Imagine my surprise when I went online this afternoon to pay my Amex bill and saw a buttload of recent activity. Putting on my Encylcopedia Brown hat, I did a little sleuthing and found AOL had charged me $707.30 for September and $719.20 August.

How in the hell do you get that high of a monthly charge from AOL?

Why do you even have an AOL account in the first place? Well, if you must know, sometimes we like to look at the chatrooms and see how the dirty people live.

After sitting on hold about the same time I ran my last half-marathon (why have a boombox in your office when you can listen to hideous hold music on the speaker phone?), I eventually talked to Dan, one of the charming customer service morons reps. After much investigation, and more bad hold music, he informed me that the charges were because I'd been using long-distance dial-ins on my second AOL account ... the one with screename HP15xxxx.

"Oh, that would be my Hewlitt Packard account?"

Trust, sarcasm is lost on these heady creatures.

"Are you saying that is an unauthorized account?"


"Well you'll have to talk to our fraud department. Call them at 800.307.7696 and they'll take care of it." Click.

So I called said number, sat on hold for another eternity, talked to Pamela for a minute who then said "hold on" and proceeded to hang up on me.

Redial is fun. Got hold of Bill and explained the whole thing to him. He said he'd file a fraud report but would have a hard time crediting me for the charges and suggested I call my credit card company. He put my card on a "hotlist" so new accounts couldn't be opened with it.

I thanked him for his generous assistance and advice.

Called my friends at Amex and they were more than helpful. Downright pleasant and cheerful. All bad charges disputed and will be taken off the bill.

Amex good.

AOL bad.

Sam honey, don't drown the kittens ... hunt down the asshole who stole my Amex number.

Hi Mom, I'm Home

Travelocity just isn't cheap enough for some people. I suppose it was more comfortable than flying coach.

September 8, 2003

Fairy Busy

My favorite niece lost her front tooth the other night. Okay, she's my only niece. And she rocks.

When bedtime came, she followed household tradition and plopped her itsy-bitsy incisor into an envelope. Placed under her pillow, it was an engraved invitation for fabled fairy of tooth.

Next morning, she came downstairs, envelope in hand.

"Mom,” she said with a sad bewilderment, “the tooth fairy didn't come."

Oops, we just lost the Parents of the Year Award … mom and dad’s simultaneous realization of muddled midnight magic during their daughter's dreamcycle.

And without even a full cup of coffee in her, my quick-witted (albeit sometime forgetful) sister explained, “Well sweetie, you know those fairies get awfully busy this time of year. She’s probably just a little backed up. Put it back under your pillow. I’m sure she’ll get here as soon as she can.”

Later that day, Miss Girl was thrilled to find two bucks in her envelope … a far cry from the two bits we got when we were kids.

Seems the toof fairy got guilted into a two-fer-one premium.

Gosh, there’s so many rules to having kids. Not only do you have to feed them (every day from what I hear), but you have to remember to schedule appointments with magical creatures. I’ve got a lot of fairies on my speed dial, but nary a one who doles out dough for dental detritus.

I don’t know how you parents do it. God bless you all.

If I Can't Live in the Chrysler Building

Dear Ms. Verse,

Your building was quite lovely tonight. Yellow on top, then green, then a bluish-violet, then green. A regular parfait of light.

Can't you keep in on past midnight?


Lex Luthor

P.S. My acquaintance, Bob, can see your home out his kitchen window. He tried to take photos, but yours are are much better.


September 7, 2003

Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!

Welcome to my new digs. Come on in and make yourself at home. It's not much, but I think I'll be comfortable here and there’s plenty of room to grow when the time comes. Still have a bunch of stuff in storage (meaning I can’t get the blogspot archives to import properly) and I think I’d like to spruce it up a bit, but for the time being, I’m good.

Patience … just like that tattoo I got a couple weeks ago.

Lots to do this week … most of which is get organized for my 2-week adventure that begins on Friday.

The Itinerary
All dates in September

12-14: Ptown for a condo board meeting and birthday party
14-17: San Diego for PAICR West Coast Conference
17-21: London for brand meetings (and a day or so to play catch my breath)
21-26: Atlanta for big marketing meeting and brand focus groups

Yup, when I leave the apartment on Friday morning, I won’t be back for 2 weeks. It’s gonna be nuts. It's all about planning proper attire and packing smartly. Oy.

Hopefully things will go more smoothly than they have in the past few days.

Still don’t have phone service at home, but I’m trusting that’ll be resolved in the morning. Was working diligently on the laptop at home last night, and the keyboard crapped out. No more backspace or control keys. “h” types “h6”. Shift doesn’t work. Other keys work or don’t work at random intervals.

I bought it at CompUSA about 18 months ago, and I remember paying several extra hundred dollars for a service agreement. Went through all my files and, d’accord, I can find no receipts or documentation. Seems I only sporadically get in touch with my true Virgo self.

Took the machine over to CompUSA and they said they could look up my receipt if I’d paid with a credit card, which I know I did because we were running up that card to get Aadvantage miles for last fall’s Australia vacation. They have no record of any purchase on that card.

“Oh, I had the card reissued since then, so it’s a different number,” I explained. They said I had to call the bank and get the old number. That was the only way they could pull it up in their database. Methinks they need a new database. So I called the bank and, d’accord, they don’t have that information and if they did, they couldn't give it to me over the phone. Fair enough. Frustrating, but I suppose fair.

So now I’m back off to CompUSA, which I’m certain will be a customer service nightmare. Just breathe, focus on positive energy and try to avoid a creating self-fulfilling prophecy.

I need to get it fixed … it’d be tragic to leave Larry computerless for the two weeks I’m gone. I'm sure I'll figure out a way to prove I have this service agreement, and then it'll be a piece of cake to negotiate a charge-back.


Anyway, it's just beautiful outside. A perfect day to haul around two computers ... one to go into the black hole of CompUSA tech service and one to go from work to the apartment so I have something to work on tomorrow while I wait for the phone guy to come.

Lawd hep me Jebus.

Mama I'm a Big Girl Now

The new site is up. Not quite perfect yet, but that's where I'll be from now on.

Please update your links (it's easy, just take the "blogspot" part out of the URL) and let all your friends and neighbors know.

September 6, 2003

Say Something into the Microphone

Testing, testing 123

Anything but that.

Learning CSS by trial and error is much fun. Almost got the blogspot entries imported over, but it's not quite working yet.

I wish I were smarter about this stuff.

September 4, 2003

Technical Updates

1. Still no phone this morning. Did all the DIY tricks last night: matched all the colored wires, bought the cute tool from Radio Shack (no, not the clerk), tested all connections and got a lot of green lights. Everything should be working, but the dial tone's as silent as a trip to Yogaville.

Called MCI today. "Hi, I need a trained professional to come and rewire me." Karen was very helpful, if not a little fond of saying "okay" every fourth or fifth word. Seems there's a problem with the line coming into the apartment building and she sent a technician out today. Called the doorman to let him know the phone company was coming, and he said there were already two guys in the basement's phone room.

You mean it wasn't just me yanking the cord out of the wall the other night?

So lots of phone men were in the basement today while I was at the office being twice as productive as I've been all summer (I'm totally in that back-to-school groove). Hopefully Chi Chi LaRue was here putting a new film together, because I still don't have a dial tone.

I now have an "inside call" scheduled for Monday, "sometime between 8am and noon."

Normally I'm pretty good at channeling Grandpa Melvin, who made a living flirting with housewives as a handyman, but this time it's beyond me. Oh well. Till Monday, it's cell phones on vibrate and a gloriously ring free apartment.

2. Movable Type's installed and seems to be working at the "Out, out, damn blogspot" bobzyeruncle. Once I get it all figured out, we'll announce the big unveiling. Still looking for template/design suggestions. All input is welcome, and I'm a big fan of the outsourcing. What's a cute new website cost, anyway? And if you're handy with phone wiring, it could be your big weekend.

No Cruz is Good News

Penélope Cruz is starring in Don't Tempt Me.

Not. To. Worry.

Moving to Movable Type

Okay then, I've got Movable Type installed. Now I just need to get it all figured out.

If you're an MT wizard and feel like offering some advice ... I'm all ears (if you wanna talk) and eyes (if you wanna write.)

In the meantime, please come over to, where it's business as usual until I transition over.

September 3, 2003

(Soon to Be) Running on MT

Due to a healthy combination of Uffish prodding and last night's Blogspot outage, I've set the wheels in motion to switch over to Movable Type. Long live the jihad.

It'll probably take a few days to get up to speed, but when I'm up and running, I'll be at (link to be activated once it's up).

Please send any and all suggestions, tips, words of wisdom, prayers, etc. my way.

And I suppose once I get that going, I'll want to have a cool new look and feel -- which leaves me two options:

a) start obsessing over designs when I have lots of work here at the office
b) outsource

Anybody got any favorite designers to create a groovy new bobzyeruncle?

Jacked Off

I had the TiVo phone line plugged into the wall jack last night so I could make my weekly "daily" call.

For those of you who don't use TiVo, you're supposed to make daily calls into the service to download the appropriate programming information. My phone jack and television are on opposite sides of the living room, so rather than leave an unsightly (and apparently dangerous) extra cord lying about on the floor, I just plug it in every few days and manually make the call.

So anyway, as I'm flitting about the apartment, sad that Franklin was straight, glad that James chose a gay guy and ecstatic that the ridiculous Boy Meets Boy is over, I accidentally tripped over the phone line and pulled it out of the wall.

No problem, I'll just reconnect the wires. I find a screwdriver without much drama (a place for everything and everything in its place) and take off the cover. Red goes to red, green goes to green. No dial tone.

I attach all four wires, matching red, green, yellow and black. No dial tone.

I take an old jack out of the middle room; the one I used to use for the modem line that's now disconnected because of the cable modem. Reconnect everything. No dial tone.

So I guess I've got a project when I come home from work. Maybe it was never done right the first time and the red and green wires aren't properly connected at the box coming into to the apartment.

Maybe I just enjoyed not hearing any phones ring while I was at the guest house over the weekend and I subconsciously decided to screw up the land line.

Maybe I'm just a clutz.

September 2, 2003

'Tho We Gotta Say Goodbye for the Summer

We started the season in Ptown back over Memorial Day, and sang goodbye to it yesterday afternoon at the Boatslip’s Tea Dance. A maryalice-mixed Miss Summer belted out the Last Dance of summer, much to the delight of hundred of dancing boys and girls; while striking a bittersweet chord with one sad camper who burst out in tears, finding solace on his friend’s shoulder.

It was weird not to stay at our place, but Land’s End Inn is a charming place to get away. No TVs or private roof decks to hang on, but very comfortable accommodations nestled atop a hill on the west end of town, overlooking the breakwater and the bay. Peace and quiet and lots of fresh air.

Saw a bunch of friends, caught a few wiggles, ate some nice meals and pretty much laid low the whole weekend. Lines for clubs were way too long, so we eschewed them, hanging out on the periphery of the scene instead. If we saw Carson once, we saw him a million times. One thing I enjoy about New York is people tend to ignore celebutantes (even the minor ones) and let them wander about without incessant whispers of “there’s the Queer Eye guy” or shouting “Carson, we LOVE you!” Seems those carousing on Commercial Street didn’t get that memo. Also seems that the fashion fifth of the Fab Five didn’t have a mirror in his guest house, ‘cause he was never wearing anything that would pass muster on the show … where does one get a black t-shirt with a giant sequined “C” on it? I suppose even couture can take a holiday.

Overheard him say they've booked 40 more episodes. I really like the show, but can it stay fresh for another year?

Got in a good day at the beach with Connie, Edie et al. Walked the deceivingly long breakwater for the first time, knocked a bestseller of my to-read list and found the cutest café out on a Wellfleet creek. Didn’t get to visit with John and Louis’ posses as much as I’d hoped, but it looked like a good time was had by all. How could one not? That little Portuguese fishing village really is one of the most magical places I'm lucky enough to know.

As much as I missed our place, it was beautiful to get a new perspective. I’m relaxed, refreshed and getting into the “back to school” groove. I’m even looking forward to going to work tomorrow. What’s up with that?

Maybe it’s the fact I know that in ten short days, we’ll be back at Cape Fear for a condo meeting and a wee birthday party for little ol’ me. Yay.